This is a touchy subject for most people. For some, its a pointless topic because the subject is irrelevant. For others, its a difficult one because of the lack of self belief and esteem that some people have. The truth is, for getting a girlfriend, you really don’t need anything more than a set of basic principles in place.
With these principles, you can be a loser, or a winner. You can be depressed, or the happiest person alive. You can be the richest person in the world, or be so far in debt that you can’t even imagine coming out of it. You could be a tall model with an athletes body, or a short, fat, ugly guy with poor hygiene.
The principles are the same. And with changing these principles you will start to change the other areas in life. By practicing these principles you will naturally want to stay healthier, cleaner and do more with your life, or maybe you will just enjoy all the female attention and stay the same. It’s up to you, but without these principles you won’t get anywhere.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Principle 1: Talk to more girls[/headline]
If you don’t have a girlfriend or any prospects, it’s likely because you are not talking to enough girls. This doesn’t mean friendly business like chatting, it means honest talks between man and woman.
It means looking into a woman eyes and telling her she is beautiful, while feeling it from your heart down to your balls. Most guys are in their heads and very logical when talking to women, you must change and become more emotional and connect with women on a natural heart/balls level.
How can you talk to more girls you ask? They are everywhere, just say hello. They are coming out of the gym, sitting in the coffee shop, in the park, walking down the road.
Even if you live in a remote town, there are still women there who want to be approached and talked to by guys, even if it sometimes seems that they don’t, that’s another principle.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Principle 2: Friendly persistence[/headline]
Notice the friendly part. This is not creepy needy persistence, that’s a huge turn off. You don’t persist because you need or want the girl, you persist because it’s part of the dance of seduction.
You say “hello”, and she gives you a weird look. Instead of thinking “oh no, i lost it, i need her now”, and becoming needy. You enjoy the dance, and become friendly while still persisting. If she is really not interested in you, then she will make it deadly obvious, and theres not much point in persisting past that point.
Don’t waste your time on people who don’t connect with you, you can’t get everyone to love you, however much you want to.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Principle 3: Relax[/headline]
This is so simple, yet so important. When talking to girls or approaching them, or going on dates or during any of your interactions, you must be totally relaxed.
If you are anxious or uncomfortable or nervous, it’s because you are tense. Relax your body, relax your face, your jaw, your hands, your shoulders, just slump a little bit and feel the weight of gravity on your body.
Relax and breath slower, and as you do you will notice you are less anxious and more comfortable.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Principle 4: Numbers game[/headline]
When starting out especially, you have to play the numbers game. That means a lot of rejection. You may talk to 20 girls before one gives you the time of day. You may get 20 phone numbers before you go on a date. You may go on 20 dates before you develop a relationship (if that’s what your after).
That’s a lot of approaching women right? Yes! People who have good dating lives or who have abundance with women, are talking to women every day and always meeting more.
As you get more comfortable approaching, you will become smoother. As you test out conversation topics you will become a smoother talker. As you go on more dates you will become more relaxed with emotional and physical connection. That’s the next big point.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Principle 5: Mental, emotional, physical[/headline]
There are three stages of connection, and they are not at all liner. You could meet a girl by hugging her in a club, which is they physical connection, then go onto have an emotional connection with her as you laugh and joke about, then have a mental connection as you talk and get closer.
It also might go the complete opposite way. You could start off talking to a girl and having that mental connection, then creating an emotional connection with a bit of flirting and fun, then a physical connection will develop as you get closer.
All three types of connection are important though, so remember to connect on all levels and never stick with just one. Don’t move through connection types in a logical methodical way, do it based on your instincts.
If you feel like it would be odd to touch her, then develop the mental connection and start to create a situation where a physical connection is more acceptable.
[headline style=”11″ align=”center” headline_tag=”h2″]Action Steps[/headline]
So here are some actions steps for you moving forward:
- Talk to 5 new girls this week
- Be persistent in a friendly way, but not pushy or needy
- Practice relaxation every single day (face, jaw, hands, shoulders)
- Play the numbers game by taking action and experience rejection
- Develop the three types of connection as you meet more girls
There you have it, if you’re stuck on any of these steps then let me know and I could write a new post about that step in more detail.